Today's thoughts

Today I read a forum post about a girl who has been photo-shopping her online photos. It is sad to me that a person would feel the need to keep up this image of herself from a point in her life where she suffered with anorexia. She is supposed to be in recovery and is still trying to keep up the appearance that she hasn't gained much weight back from the recovery...

I really wish the best for her and for her to really embrace the recovery and all of the things that come with it. I'm not only talking about the weight gain that comes with eating correctly, I'm talking about the freedom that comes with being yourself. The freedom that saying 'hey, this is what I look like and I love myself.'

It takes a lot of courage and strength to love yourself despite what the media says, despite what your followers say, and despite what your own brain may think..

I admit that reading through her blog I felt as though I wasn't good enough. She's a beautiful woman in her real life and in the carefully constructed images that she allows on the internet, and I felt that I do not measure up.. I automatically jumped to 'oh, I have to really start eating better' and 'man, I really need to put more efforts into my workouts', but neither of those things make up who I am as a person. I am so much more than eating clean and working my fat off... I am:

• A woman who has over 11,000 in her bank account saved for a house.
• A woman who was offered a full time job before she even graduated college.
• A woman who has a man who loves her for way more than what she looks like.
• A woman who enjoys running and wants to run the Boston Marathon one day.
• A woman with family who accepts her strange behavior and loves her anyway.
• A woman who loves pokemon, video games, movies, hiking, swimming, running, reading, laying in the sun, going on road trips, eating ice cream, eating in general, and loves her job.
• A woman who plans to have her 65k in student loans paid off in 4 years instead of then 10 that the banks have her scheduled for.
• A woman who's car is quickly reaching 250k miles and shows no signs of slowing down.
• A woman who will get married and have kids and will teach them how to eat and how to love the run and who wants to keep her family active and healthy.
• A woman who is so sad for others who can't see the beauty in themselves past what they look like.

If I can do one this with this blog, I hope it is to inspire others to live their life how they want to and to not be ashamed or fearful about what others will think of their actions. Life is meant to be lived and not to be placed in the correct light to try and force others to believe that it is so much better than it actually is. If your life isn't what you're proud of, go and change it! Do something new that excites you and then let it help you grow.

Being an adult

Today we found out that the company that I work for is going to go through a merger with a different company. I have been working for this company for just under a year now and have grown very happy and comfortable with it. It is all good news, though..

• No employees will be lost in the merger.
• There will be more leadership roles that open up in the coming year.
• We get our bonus' early (when the merger closes) and will continue to see a bonus system with the merger.
• We wont have to re-locate for the merger.
• 401k and benefits stay relatively the same.
• The company will jump to over 800 employees.

The only downside that I can see is that our two current CEO's are retiring and the new CEO will be the man in charge of the company that we are merging with.

This gets me nervous because it has been Dustin and my plan to finish saving and to buy a house in the Fall. This merger puts a bit of a downer on this issue because we are uncertain of how we will be treated in the new company and if we will have the option of overtime. 

Speaking of being nervous and anxious all of the time; my student loans are always hanging over my head. Right now I am about 60k in debt because of my schooling; I'm slowly paying them off but I would really like to keep my overtime pay to get them gone even further.

Am I being too much of a downer? Here; have a photo of me instead.

Let's talk running then. This past weekend I was able to get out both days for a run with two of my favorite people:

        Dustin my handsome boyfriend. :]                                Hollie my beautiful friend. :]

Please ignore my awful post run face.. I don't wear a ton of makeup on the weekend (or much at all now a days) and I end up looking like a big red-faced lady!

For both runs I was able to get in my 3 miles and my yearly miles are up to 161 for the year! Dustin asked me what I wanted to do for when I made it to the half way point of my goal (250! It's approaching quickly!) and I have a couple of ideas that I'm not sure about yet:

1. Go away for a weekend.
2. Get a spa day.
3. Eat a tub of ice cream.
4. Buy myself something nice.
5. Dance around in a circle for about 10 minutes because I'll be half way to my goal of 500 miles!

What are some things that you like to reward yourself with when you reach a goal?

Has your job ever gone through a merger?

Are you still paying on student loans?